haix....dunno what to write leh.... I've been down lately...maybe it's becuase of somthing I keep thinking about.
Got to go for a camp after speechday itself... this is going to be tiring man.... but what to do?
I just want to shoot myself, you know! My nerves are acting up again. People -several of my friends- are getting so irritating I find it hard to control myself anymore. Give me a gun! Shoot me and end my misery! It'll solve so many problems.
Don't think I'm insane. (This is not Tell Tale Heart btw) I want to get some math done... and I've got to thank Aniah greatly for making me realize something.
What kind of world do we live in? A world full of confusion, lies, and mysteries... A world full of red herrings...full of loneliness...
I was up last night- quite late. As I was in my room, I stood by the window looking into the night sky. I shouted out- 'Why? Why are you doing this to me? You've taken every single thing I've wanted away from me... I've done everything you told me to- so why?! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT OF ME?'
Trust me...there was a moment of silence- even the crickets stopped chirping for a sec.... lol....I 'm not being sacarstic....
As if in reply- my head started to hurt...trust me...my ears were having sharp pains and my arm- the injured one- was acting up again. I thought I was dying at that point of time...
But...
I made it. Trust me...You'd not like to see me alone at home yesterday...
Going through the process of changing myself and who I want to be. A little hint though...I'm not going to put on a show anymore. It's time I let ppl see who I really am.
R
