'We all have the choice. It's our choice whether we want to do it....'
Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing. Why doesn't anyone see it the way I do? I feel as if my world has ben turned against me... and there's nothing- despite how hard I try to do it- I can do...
I have a friend, he suffered the same thing I did...the only difference was the reason he was suffering. But still...the pain was the same. He's a good friend of mine, and when he finally let it out there was nothing I could do. I prayed in a corner, trying to think what to do to help him but I felt so helpless. I couldn't hold it any longer. There must be something I could do....yes...there was....but if I did it...
You may see me as an insocialble person or one who doesn't like to participate much... but I suppose you should have every right to know why. I don't want to do something...so stupid and idiotic that would make me the bad guy in this story. I would kill anyone who'd harm my friends...I'd sacrifice myself to do anything if I saw them get hurt so deeply. Imagine how helpless and angry I felt when my friend- who needed nothing but the support from us- let it get the better of him and there was nothing I could do.
What about
them? Dear friends...it's not that I want to restrict or act so smart in the situation...acting as if I were a pro at depression...but that if we made one single mistake in doing that...the amount of risk of us turning this event in another direction making things far far worse that they can ever be...can you imagine the huge amount of guilt that I'd feel? Yes...I know that you mean well for him...but sometimes, there are some things that we must consider very very wisely. I'm so sorry that you think I'm the bad guy. I'm sorry that all this ever happened.
*Shoot me and end my misery*- Remember this? It was my MSN ID not too long ago. Yea...I was depressed...so what? You must be thinking, " Jeremy, you know you are so overexagerating this?"
That's up to you to think. I don't care anymore. I prayed today. Very very hard. I told him, 'I never ever want you to do this to anyone of my friends again. I never want them to suffer. Place their suffering ontu me... I'll suffer for them.'
